the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
