belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
