I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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