im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
