Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
