Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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