ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
