I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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