I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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