I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
