Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Randomize