I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
