Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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