girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
