I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
