Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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