I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
