I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
