Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize