sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
