Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
