Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
