Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
