The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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