Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
