I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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