They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We have started to decorate penises.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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