I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
