I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
