I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
