Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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