I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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