i don't like sucking hair
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Someone stole a lamp last night.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
