he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
