Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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