i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
