Sry I called you an 8
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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