think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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