I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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