How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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