i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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