I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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