his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
