She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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