I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
