Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize