Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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