yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
