Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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