do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
