Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
