worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Can you bring me the toilet please
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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