Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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