Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
