..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
