You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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