Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
