fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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