I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
this will be a night to untag.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Randomize
