so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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