I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
