My brain says no but my pants say off.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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