She is in my trunk
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
