what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
