Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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