How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
