worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
