Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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