he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
